


Snow Angel

by VictorNikiforovmessedmeup



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Christophe Giacometti, Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha Yuri Plisetsky, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Death, Child Loss, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Katsuki Yuuri, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omega Phichit Chulanont, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Sad Katsuki Yuuri, Suicide Attempt, not graphic, past child loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-08-14 18:15:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16497722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictorNikiforovmessedmeup/pseuds/VictorNikiforovmessedmeup
Summary: One year after a tragic loss, Yuuri struggles daily to get past the pain. He finds out he has a secret, and it seemingly sets him back even further. Victor is trying desperately to help his husband, but he doesn't know what to do. They go through this journey together. Both trying to work and overcome their trauma.Updates at least once a week, possibly more.Alternating between Victor and Yuuri's perspective each chapter.





	1. Yuuri's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in manyyyyyyy years, hopefully it's not completely trash.
> 
> If anyone finds this triggering please let me know. I've tried to handle the issues as tactfully as possible. I'd hate to unintentionally hurt anyone.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!!

It was quiet in the Nikiforov household. It couldn’t be later than one or two AM. Yuuri opened his teary eyes to find he was safe and wrapped in the protective arms of his husband. He finished his crying spell silently, unwilling to wake his sleeping love. Makkachin sensed his distress and pushed herself next to him. Petting her soft fur helped him even out his breathing, and the last vestiges of the nightmare faded into memories. She was such a sweet dog, always supporting her humans when they needed it. He whispered praise into her ears.

 

He was safe. No one would hurt him. He was still worth loving. Victor was here; Victor would not let anything bad happen. Victor still loved him. He did not leave. Makkachin loved her dads. She would never let anyone hurt him. Yuuri kept repeating the mantra in his head. He was safe now. There was no reason to cry now. Just be quiet; do not make Victor worry. It was his mental weakness, and he refused to make it his husband’s problem.

 

After what felt like an eternity staring at his side of their room, he decided to get up, but his sleeping husband grumbled and pulled him back. Victor’s arm over his waist kept him grounded; his alpha would keep him safe. He snuggled back into Victor and attempted to go back to dreamland once again. You are safe now. YOU ARE SAFE. He lazily doted on Makkachin until he fell back into a restless sleep.

 

 

A gentle kiss on his bond mark woke him up hours later. He realized it had to be morning; there was light glowing through the long white drapes facing him. He felt a few more kisses going up his neck. He let out a contented sigh and felt Victor’s smile against his skin.

 

“Good morning, Angel, how’d you sleep?”

 

“Well, Vitya.”

 

Yuuri turned to face him. Mutual smiles and morning kisses ensued. Eventually, Victor managed to roll out of bed before picking the omega up bridal style. Makkachin hopped off the bed; her feet padded lightly behind her humans.

 

“You’re so light, love, if you get any smaller, you’ll just float away. Are you getting enough to eat? Is the kitchen not stocked to your liking? We can get different foods if you want. We could probably--”

 

“I’m eating plenty; I’ve just been spending more time in the studio as of late. Just because I’m taking a break doesn’t mean I can get lazy.”

 

“Just know, I love you, Yuuri, more than anything.”

 

“I love you, too, Vitya, you’re my everything.”

 

Victor still looked apprehensive, but he did not press it. Yuuri felt awful. He was such a bad omega, making his alpha worry. He would never understand why Victor chose to keep him. He never did anything right. 

 

Yuuri put Makkachin’s breakfast out; she happily trotted up to her bowl. His attention then turned to Victor. The smell of pancakes filled the kitchen. Victor seemed to get a kick out of flipping the pancakes in the air, even though it was a little messier. After the food was plated and sat in front of him, he noticed fresh strawberries were placed neatly around his pancakes. He smiled gently and took the hand Victor offered him. They ate in silence, but Yuuri felt his husband’s eyes watch him closely as he ate. He knew Victor was worried and gave his hand a, hopefully, reassuring squeeze. Regardless, he finished his plate in record time. Smiling as he put down his fork, he looked to the older man.

 

“What’s our plan for today?” he asked.

 

“Well, I figured we might go to the rink for a little bit, come home to get Makkachin for lunch, and we could go see a movie or something this evening before dinner. How does that sound?”

 

Yuuri nodded. 

 

“Why don’t we invite Yura to come with us?” Victor massaged the omega’s hand, “I’m sure he’d like to see you; he asks about you all the time.”

 

Yuuri’s smile fell. He never intended to make the young alpha upset; he was way too young to worry about Yuuri’s mental weakness. 

 

Victor seemed to read his husband’s mind and added, “I hear everyday how much he misses you and your katsudon.”

 

“Oh, well, why don’t we invite him to come eat with us tonight; I’ll make some for us.”

 

“That would be nice. I’ll help you!--If that’s ok?”

 

“I’d like that.” He smiled.

 

Victor smiled back, this one finally reaching his eyes. “Why don’t we go get ready?”

 

Yuuri nodded and headed to their bedroom while Victor cleared the dishes. He looked across the hallway into the muted yellow room. The small pile of little blue stuffed animals and soft books sitting on the dresser stared back at him, taunting him. He felt a few tears roll down his cheeks, but he quickly wiped them away. He was not ready for the door to be open. He may have thought he was, but his staring contest with stuffed animals proved him wrong. Yuuri crossed the hallway, slammed the door, and retreated back to their bedroom. 

 

He pulled on one of Victor’s sweaters and a pair of pants before his husband came in. Yuuri did not really notice, like he was in a haze. Victor mentioned how cute the younger looked in his clothes while they finished getting ready, but Yuuri barely acknowledged the compliment, maybe a small nod. He was lead to the door hand-in-hand. Victor helped him put on his coat, wished Makka a good day, and guided him down their usual route. They did not live far from Victor’s home rink; he picked out their condo about a year before Yuuri graduated. 

 

The brisk morning walk from house to rink jarred Yuuri out of his stupor. He noticed he had a coat on. Victor must have dressed him; he would have to thank him later. He would be lost without his alpha. He was useless on his own, especially considering he could not even seem to dress himself. They shrugged off their winter garb, again in silence. A worried Victor pecked his forehead after he laced up his skates.

 

“I can get you a pair of skates if you want. I-I know it’s not dancing, but you could enjoy it. I’m sure Yakov and Yura wouldn’t mind.”

 

“I’m ok. Go get in some practice. I’m ok,” Yuuri gave him an unconvincing smile.

 

Victor sighed. “Ok, Angel, just let me know if you change your mind, ok?”

 

Yuuri nodded. He watched Victor start skating his routine for this season. Watching Victor skate was his favorite thing in the world; he was not alone either. His husband’s quad flip was an international sensation, and his fierce dedication to the sport pushed him into the limelight. He held the title for six years now, maybe even seven after this season. His skating was phenomenal, to say the least, and Yuuri had the privilege to watch him practice. 

 

A ding from his phone took Yuuri’s attention away from his husband. Phichit was calling him. He smiled to himself and answered the Facetime. 

 

Phichit’s beaming smile appeared on the screen. “Hey, Yuuri!!” 

 

“Hey.”

 

“How’s St. Petersburg in January treating you?”

 

“It’s good, a little colder than Detroit, but I’ve felt worse.”

 

“You go with Victor to the rink today?”

 

“Yea.”

 

Yuuri loved Phichit, but he sometimes got tired of the constant questioning. It was probably his own fault though; he had little communication with anyone except Victor recently. It was not that he did not want to speak to his friends. He just felt like he would be wasting their time, no matter how many times Victor told him that was not true.

 

“You ok? I know it’s been hard recently.” Phichit was at least kind.

 

“I’m here. Victor has to do everything for me most the time; I’m basically useless these days. I don’t know why he even b--”

 

“Yuuri, Victor loves you more than life itself. I don’t think anyone could not love you; you are so damn lovable. Don’t beat yourself while you’re down. And, you are not useless, Katsuki Yuuri, because you are not. You managed to get a PHd in Physics and a BFA, handle not one, but two international moves, and performed for millions of awestruck fans. Just because you’re struggling to deal with a tragedy doesn’t mean you’re not capable, ok?”

 

Yuuri sighed. “I’m glad you think that much of me, Phichit, but you’ve not seen me these days. It’d change your mind.”

 

“Yuuri--”

 

“I have some news; I’ve not told anyone yet. I think I’d like you to be the first to know.”

 

“What’s up?”

 

“I-I--I’m pregnant.”

 

The conversation became deadly silent. Phichit seemed to struggle for a response.

 

“When did you find out?”

 

“Week ago, just felt off, we had some left over from---other things.”

 

“When are you gonna tell him?”

 

“Dunno, been losing weight, don’t wanna make him more upset.”

 

“Yuuri--”

 

“I know, I’ll tell him soon.”

 

“Do you want me to book a trip to be there?”

 

“No, I need to tell him alone; I just hope he’s not mad.”

 

“Why would Victor be mad about this?”

 

“What if he feels like I want to replace--”

 

“He won’t, he would never doubt your love for Akio. I promise.”

 

“Ok.” Yuuri remained unconvinced.

 

He noticed Yuri coming towards him and quickly told Phichit bye. If the younger was worried about him with his current knowledge, knowing Yuuri’s secret would only make it worse. He put his phone away and turned all his attention to the oncoming teen.


	2. Victor's Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Victor's perspective on the last year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter covers what happened to Akio and Yuuri.  
> Most of the darker parts of this chapter are not descriptive. 
> 
> Trigger warning regaurdless.

Victor’s hands were chilled from pushing himself up off the ice. He was unable to watch Yuuri and focus on his routine at the same time. His husband was acting odd lately. A whole year of therapy seemed to vanish in the last couple of weeks, and his mental state currently closely resembled how it was after the funeral. Victor was in a panic. Emotional support was not something he had experience with. Even after being together for seven years, he still struggled to when he helped Yuuri with panic attacks, and every time his husband cried, part of Victor died. He loathed the current state of his mate. Alphas were supposed to help their omegas, yet he was unable to do just that.

 

He went through a checksheet in his mind, but the only reason he could come up with hit Victor head on with the force of a train. Could he have done something to cause this? No matter how hard he worked to better himself, he was still infamous for being a ditzy idiot. He had done his best to help Yuuri through this rough time, give him what he could to help heal the deep wounds, but Victor felt as though he was insufficient. What happened was still partially his fault,after all. If he had stayed at home and waited for his family or gone with them, they would have been much better off.

 

Yuuri had taken Akio to see his family in Japan. Victor wanted desperately to come, but his husband insisted he visit Chris and continue training for the upcoming European Championships. The night Yuuri and his one year old son were supposed to come home, they were in a car accident. The car flipped off the road and landed in a ditch near their neighborhood. Snow covered the car during the night, rendering it basically invisible. Despite the crash being near a fairly populated area with tons of foot traffic and the massive manhunt that followed their disappearance, no one realized the snow bank just down the hill was a prison cell. His poor husband was trapped inside that car for a whole week. 

 

Being trapped in that car damaged Yuuri much more mentally than physically. His broken arm was nothing compared to hearing people move and speak right next to him but being unable to reach out for help. After he regained consciousness from the initial crash, he had been up almost the entire seven days. He would only sleep when he passed out from exhaustion. The lack of sleep combined with his anxiety induced paranoia. Thankfully, there had been some food and bottled water left over in their travel bags, or they both would've died for sure. By the time rescuers pulled him from the car, Yuuri was convinced he was being punished because he was a terrible person. His self-hatred only compounded when Akio succumbed to his injuries in the hospital. To say he was devastated would be an understatement. He tried to take his own life, and the doctors had to heavily sedate him.

 

Victor boarded a flight home the moment he heard his family was missing. The days of the search felt like years to him. He felt all the loneliness from his younger years come back in wave after crushing wave. When he finally got the call from the hospital, he probably violated all the traffic regulations to get there as soon as humanly possible. The doctor’s took him to a private room and explained the situation. He broke down; his son was the most precious thing in his world. Yuuri needed him to be strong though. He calmed himself and followed a nurse to his husband’s room. He held the sleeping omega’s hand. Yuuri woke up hours later and sobbed for what felt like eternity in the alpha’s arms. Victor did his best to comfort Yuuri in his distress, but the older man was not the most versed in emotional support.

 

“Vitya, I--I didn’t mean to…”

 

“I know, Angel, it’ll be ok. None of this is your fault.”

 

“I’m awful--I-I-I killed him. It is my fault. I should have been a better parent.”

 

“Yuuri--”

 

“No, no, It’s all my fault--I should’ve been the one who--”

 

“Yuuri, no, don’t you ever say that. I wouldn’t know what to do without you; I love you so much.”

 

“B-but, I—I killed our baby, Victor, I—you should hate me. I’m such a bad omega. I—”

 

“No, you’re not. You’re such a good omega, Love; you took such good care of our little boy. And, a terrible accident doesn’t make you anything but a victim.”

 

Yuuri was silent for a moment.

 

“You-you don’t want me to leave?”

 

“Of course not, Love, what would I do without you?”

 

Yuuri pulled himself as close to Victor as possible.

 

“I love you, Vitya. I’ll do better; I’ll-I’ll be good this time. I’ll be good; I promise.”

 

“I love you too, Yuuri, and we’ll get help. I promise. We’ll be ok; you’ll be ok. I promise.”

 

They stayed cuddled together until they both fell asleep. The next morning was a nightmare. Yuuri had to go through therapy and medical tests, and Victor had to make funeral arrangements. When the omega was released from the hospital a week later, they had to go to Akio’s funeral. The entire affair was hell on earth. Burying their own child was worse than seeing him in a big hospital bed.

 

The following weeks at home we’re not much better. Yuuri barely talked, even when Victor tried to start a conversation. They were glued together at all times. The younger felt unsafe if he could not at least see his husband, and the alpha struggled with leaving his omega. Therapy seemed to be of little help at first. Yuuri was still guilt ridden and withdrawn, but around month three, he really started improving. He began to eat regularly, started using his private dance studio again, and would stay at home when Victor practiced some days. They even talked about opened the nursery door again; it had been shit since Yuuri came home.

 

Then, about two weeks ago, Yuuri’s first beat after the accident occurred, and all the steps forward seemed to vanish. Victor could barely get him to eat, the dance studio remained untouched, and he refused to leave the alpha’s side for any reason. At first, he believed Yuuri’s heat had messed with him a little bit. Surely though, if that we’re the case, it should have only lasted a few days. This had gone on too long to just be side effects of a heat. After he heard the omega slam a door this morning and realized it was the nursery door, he passed concerned. Victor was near panic. He was considering asking Phichit to fly back out to St. Petersburg, maybe he could help. He had been close to Yuuri a long time. If anyone could help the alpha figure out what was wrong, it would be him.

 

Another failed jump pulled Victor back to the present. He noticed Yuuri video chatting someone, presumably Phichit, on the phone. Hopefully, talking to his friend would help his husband feel better. He worried his mate was too isolated. With that thought in mind, he told himself he would work to have more people come around. 

 

That’s why he wanted the younger Yuri to come around tonight. The omega saw the younger alpha as one of his pups. He had helped the young alpha with his ballet years before he presented. They’re bond as parent and child was strong; Yuri had only asked to be under Yakov because he knew Yuuri was moving to St. Petersburg with Victor. He may as well have lived with them before the accident. He would help Yuuri make dinner, do housework, and shop. Because Yuri viewed the omega as his dam, he was nearly unbearable before Akio was born. He was more protective than Victor. 

 

Everything changed after last January. Yuri changed completely around Yuuri. He would just cuddle up to the omega and release a childlike scent, and Yuuri’s mental state scared him terribly. He could not bare to see the Japanese man so distraught and upset. Yuuri had kept his distance because of that. He never wanted to damage the boy more than he felt he had already. His distance from Yuri scared Victor as well; Yuuri had never turned the young alpha away before. He could only hope dinner tonight would help.

 

He looked back over to Yuuri’s resting place. The Yuris were cuddled together on the bench. He noticed they were quietly having a conversation and smiled to himself. He watched them from the other side of the rink for a while; he did not want to mess with their bonding time. Little Yuri disliked him enough as it was. He thought of the older alpha as someone who was trying to take his dam away. Over the years, Victor hoped he had shown Yuri otherwise, but he would probably never know for sure. And, Yuri did not act convinced.

 

He waited a minute more before making his way over to his husband and his “stepson.” 

 

“Angel, Yura, what are you guys up too?”

 

“We were just talking about dinner,” Yuuri played with the younger’s long blonde hair. “Yura’s gonna come home with us. If that’s ok that is?”

 

Yuuri still struggled with doing anything unless Victor agreed with it. He was terrified of being a “bad omega.” he normally did better when it had to do with someone he cared about; asking if it was ok for Yura to come over was rather out of character.

 

“Of course, he’s always welcome. You both know that, right?”

 

“Da, Old Man. Katsudon was just asking you as a nice way of telling you I’m coming. ‘Cause if he didn’t you’d be butthurt” Snappy as always; at least he was consistent.

 

“My Yuuri is very sweet like that,” the alpha beamed at his husband.

 

“Ew, go away with your mushy bullshit; you’re making me sick.”

 

The small smile he got from Yuuri made the earful he was getting worth it. He wished he could keep him in that mood all the time, but you cannot always get what you want. Since the younger alpha made his husband comfortable, he quickly formulated a plan.

 

“I’ve been having an off day; I think I’m going to practice through lunch today. Why don’t you two go out and get something?” Victor figured if anyone could get Yuuri to go somewhere without him, it would be Yuri.

 

“Yea,” Yuri seemed to pick up where he was going. “We could go to that new Italian place across the street, just like we did when we were in Detroit!”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“I’ll be right across the street if you need me, Love; I can be there in no time at all. I promise. And, Yuri will be with you the whole time; we won’t let anything happen. Right, Yura?”

 

“Da, this asshole is actually right for once.”

 

“You’re so mean to me, you’ve wounded me beyond repair.”

 

Yuuri let a small giggle out, and Yuri shot a genuine smile at Victor. Their dual effort at least succeeded at cheering him up.

 

“Well, it’s about noon, why don’t you two head out, and I’ll see you in a bit?”

 

“Please, Katsudon, I--I’ve really missed hanging out with you. Please.”

 

“Well,” Yuuri looked at the boy’s pleading eyes. “I guess an hour with one of my favorite people in the whole world would be nice.”

 

“That’s great! I hope you two have a wonderful time,” Victor leaned forward to give Yuuri a quick kiss. “And, I’ll be right here if you need me, ok?”

 

“Ok.” 

 

Yuuri got up to leave with Yuri. He gave his husband a hug and kissed him one last time before going with the younger. 

 

“I love you, Vitya.”

 

“I love you too, Yuuri. I’m so proud of you; you’re so brave”

 

Victor went back to practice once they were out the door. He was ecstatic. He desperately wanted his husband to be able to enjoy his life without terror again, and maybe they were getting back to that place again. He planned a jump, quad flip. He jumps, perfectly clean landing. He had to convince himself things were going to be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!!
> 
> Suggestions are always welcome!!


	3. Lunch With Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry I'm uploading so late in the day!! This week as been crazy!!
> 
> Anyway, here's chapter 3!! I loved writing Yurio btw!!

The restaurant was bustling by the time the Yuris walked in. The younger asked the omega to find a table while he ordered their lunch. Yuuri picked a seat in the window closest to the rink. He knew it was stupid, but it just helped him to see the building Victor was in. Despite knowing his alpha wanted him to get out and have a stable support group, the paranoid side of his brain kept telling him Victor just wanted to get rid of him. Still, he knew that was not true. He was just being foolish. Victor still loved him no matter what. His ring should have been all the proof he needed, but Yuuri, as usual, was pinning his own flaws on others.

 

He looked over to watch the young alpha order. As he watched Yuri speak to the cashier, he felt a small surge of pride. At least one of his children was doing well. Even if the boy was not his biological child, he still had a big had in his life. He was not around Yuri to kill him when he was only a year old. Akio was not lucky enough to have a proper parent in those early years, and he paid the ultimate price for it. YOU DID NOT KILL AKIO. The part of his brain that was receptive to therapy argued with him. You loved him more than anything else in this world, and a freak accident took him from you. It is not your fault. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. He saw the younger walking back to the table, and tried to turn his mind elsewhere.

 

When Yuri sat down at the table, Yuuri could immediately feel the younger’s eyes looking him over. He felt awful for making his “adopted” son worry. He knew he had failed the younger over the last few months, but seeing the worry first hand really tore him out of his frame. How much stress had he caused the younger? Yuuri truly was terrible. He promised Nikolai he would take care of the boy when he decided to train under Yakov, yet all he had done was make the poor kid worry. Yuri should not have to carry part of Yuuri’s burden. He was only fifteen, way to young to be forced to care for one of his guardians. The omega had tried his best to keep up a cheerful facade around the boy. Still, if the look the younger was giving him was any indication, he had failed miserably. 

 

“You’ve done really well so far this season; I’m so proud of you, Yura. I’m sorry I’ve not been able to come to more of your competitions, but you really have been doing amazing.” Yuuri tried to redirect the boys attention.

 

Yuri blushed. “Thanks, Katsudon--and it doesn’t matter if you can’t be there physically--Old Man says you always watch my performances online no matter what.”

 

“I do; I’d never miss one if I could help it. I’m sorry--”

 

“Quite being sorry for everything--I hate when you put yourself down. You went through something awful--you have the right to feel down for awhile, ok?”

 

“Ok,” Yuuri patted the boy’s hand and smiled at him. “Anyway, we’ve not been able to talk in a while. So, what’ve I missed?”

 

“I made a friend! His name is Otabek. He’s a skater, and he djs part time! Isn’t that cool!”

 

“Yea, Otabek… Altin? He’s the Kazakh skater, right?”

 

“Da, that’s him!”

 

“Vitya-- I mean, Victor and I met him at a competition once I think. He seemed really nice, very quiet though.”

 

“He’s so fucking cool! He even let me ride on the back of his bike!”

 

Yuri saw the concerned look on his dam’s face. 

 

“We were both wearing helmets; I promise! I’d never do anything that reckless, and he’s very safe.”

 

Yuuri relaxed a bit. “I know, I trust you, Yura; I know you’d never do anything you knew was reckless--I-I just worry. I’d never be able to live with myself if--”

 

\--Anything bad happened to you. Both left the end of his thought unspoken. Yuuri already lost one child; he did not think he could live through losing another one. His hands subconsciously went around his stomach. He pulled them down once he realized what he had done, but it was not without some shame. He was so pathetic. The baby would be fine; it was when Yuuri would have to raise them that problems would arise.

 

They sat in silence until a server brought out their orders. Yuuri noticed the young alpha had a much smaller portion than himself. It dawned on him he had promised Yuri katsudon; of course, he would want to save his calories. At least he could still bring the younger some joy. His best memories from Detroit are cooking with Yuri and Phichit in their tiny kitchen. Before he finished his PhD, the Yuris would have at least one day a week where they would go to the studio together and share recipes. 

 

The meal was nice. He had been craving spaghetti for a while. Victor was not big on Italian food, and Yuuri was loathe to ask his alpha anything he would not easily agree to. He knew his alpha probably would not care. He just could not bring himself to ask for anything right now. Having two of his favorite people around was enough for him; he did not need anything else. Victor and Yuri had already done so much for him; he should just be grateful that alone.

 

“Would--would you mind going to the studio with me sometime?” Yuri was uncharacteristically timid in his request.

 

“Of course, Yura.”

 

“I feel like my center of gravity is off, and I don’t know how to fix it without someone watching me and pointing out where it gets me.”

 

“If your center’s off, that means you’re getting taller. You’re growing up on me.” He smiled at the younger.

 

“Da, soon Old Man’ll have to ask me to get stuff off shelves for him. And, this year I’ll be at the top of the podium.”

 

“He really does hate that nickname, but I’m fairly impressed with your dedication to it.” Yuuri laughed.

 

“Da,” Yuri smiled at him. “Well, it should! I’d be upset if I was old as dirt too! Besides this year I’m going to be in the competition, and I’ll kick his wrinkled ass right off the podium.”

 

Yuuri died at that one. He laughed so hard he cried, only a few tears, though. 

 

“I’m sure you will, Yura, and I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”

 

“You have to cheer harder for me than him at World’s this year, ok?” Yuri was still a kid after all. “Because I will not have my dam cheering for a loser!”

 

Yuuri’s heart could have burst. The younger still looked up to him so much, even if he did not deserve it. He felt lighter than he had in weeks. Maybe he could do this whole parenting thing; maybe he could be better.

 

“Ok, I’ll cheer you on as hard as I can; I’d hate to embarass you like that.” 

 

He giggled at the end. His reverence towards his alpha after the accident had almost made him forget how much fun it could be to make a little jab at his expense. It was especially fun when Yuri got involved; the boy seemed to make it his life’s mission to torture Victor. Yuuri knew most of it was all in good fun. Afterall, Yuri had warmed up to the older alpha considerably since they had moved to St. Petersburg, but that did not mean he would quit mercilessly messing with Victor. If anything, the crap he gave the older showed how much he cared for the two of them. When Yuri criticized the older, it normally meant he wanted him to do better. Telling Victor that did not help him in the moment though.

 

“Will you need to run home to feed Potya?”

 

“No, Lilia said she’d feed her.” Yuri got quiet for a second. “Could I spend the night? I’ve just really missed you, and I know I won’t wanna leave tonight.”

 

Yuuri thought about it a moment. He did not think Victor would mind, and he almost did not care. If his little boy missed him, he was not about to send him back home alone. 

 

“Of course, Love. Do you have clothes for tomorrow?”

 

“I have some extra clothes in my locker, I’ll just bring them with me.”

 

“Ok, why don’t we sleep in the guest bedroom?”

 

“You don’t mind not sleeping with Victor?” Yuri was serious; he never called the older alpha by name.

 

“Of course not! It’ll be like the sleepovers we had in Detroit; how’s that sound?”

 

“I’d like that,” the younger smiled.

 

“Then it’s settled; I’ll tell Victor when we get back to the rink, ok?”

 

Yuri nodded. The younger’s phone went off. They both jumped slightly, but the alpha quickly grabbed his phone.

 

“Sorry, I set an alarm for when we needed to head back,” Yuri quickly cleaned his spot.

 

“That was smart; ready to go?”

 

“Da,” He pulled the door open for Yuuri. “Let’s get back before the Old Man runs across the street to start back up with his mushy bullshit. At least this way it’s confined to the rink.”

 

Yuuri laughed as the pair once again tried to face the Russian winter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! Comments, suggestion, and kudos are also very appreciated!! Hope you have a wonderful day/night depending on what's closest!!


	4. It's not a Secret Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!!! Look who actually updated early for once!! 
> 
>  
> 
> And, if anyone noticed, yes I did change the number of chapters. I originally thought this would be about 14/15 in length, but I'm not sure anymore. I'd rather stay on the low end and change it if need be.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, here's the chapter that we've all been waiting for!!! Secret's out!!!

Yuuri seemed so much lighter when he got back from lunch; it put Victor at ease. His husband had not been this calm in a while. He genuinely smiled as he watched him and Yuri practice. He would even flirt back and forth with Victor. It was oddly normal for the pair, and his alpha loved it. Seeing his husband act like he did over a year ago gave him overwhelming peace. 

 

When his training finally finished for the day, he skated back over to where his Yuuri sat and hurriedly pulled off his skates. With his shoes on his feet, he walked over to his husband.

 

“Hey, Cutie, come here often?” He smirked.

 

“Yea, almost everyday with my husband.” His sentence was punctuated with a wink.

 

“Ah, husband, the good ones do always get snatched up first.”

 

“Do they now?”

 

“Oh, absolutely. Can I at least get a consolation prize?”

 

“Well… I think that depends on what you have in mind.”

 

“Could I be lucky enough to get a kiss?”

 

Yuuri pretended to think for a moment. “Hmmmm, I guess that could be arranged. C’mere.”

 

Victor leaned down and got a gentle peck on the lips. A gagging sound pulled them out of the moment. When they pulled away, Yuri was at the railing with a hand over his mouth.

 

“You two need to quite with your mushy bullshit. You’ll make us all puke. Especially since one of you is a senior citizen.”

 

“Yuuri! Did you hear that, our son thinks I’m old as dirt! You won’t leave me, right?” He fell to his knees in front of him.

 

He giggled. “No, Vitya, I’m not going to leave you. You’re not even that old.”

 

“And, I’m not your fucking son, you Old Geezer.”

 

“Language, Yura!”

 

“Sorry, Katsudon.”

 

“So mean to your Papa, Yura. You wound me so deeply… I may never recover.” He leaned onto Yuuri’s knees.

 

“Oh, Vitya, what will I do with you?”

 

He looked up. “Shower me with love and affection until I can bounce back?”

 

“I guess I can do that.” He leaned down and kissed him.

 

“Ew, I’m gonna go get changed. Be ready to go when I get back, Da?”

 

“Ok.”

 

Yuri skated to the opposite side of the rink towards the locker room. Victor got off the floor and sat down on the bench. He put his arms around his husband, and he preened when Yuuri leaned into him.

 

“Has your day been ok, Angel?”

 

“This has been the best day I’ve had in awhile.” He smiled.

 

“I’m glad. You deserve more good days.”

 

“Oh, um,” He curled into himself slightly. “I promised Yura that he could spend the night, and we’re gonna camp out in the spare bedroom. I hope that’s ok. He just brought up feeling abandoned, and I--”

 

“Yuuri,” He shushed him. “You don’t owe me an explanation. He’s your pup; you know how to help him better than anyone. I’d never hold taking care of a child against you.”

 

“I don’t know that I know how to care for other kids, but Yura’s been in my life so long, I know how to help him.”

 

“Don’t doubt yourself, Love, you’re an amazing parent.”

 

He looked down and smiled. “Thank you.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too; I’d never have made it through this year without you.”

 

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re so strong; I don’t think I would’ve been able to live through the last year with all the stress and pain you’ve had. I’m glad I’ve helped you, but please don’t sell yourself short. Please.”

 

Tears silently rolled down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Vitya, I never meant to hurt you, but I never thought about that. And my logical brain knows I didn’t do anything wrong, but--emotionally, I feel like shit. I know it’s crude, but there’s no better way to put it. It’s like my guilt and anxiety combined.”

 

“Do you want to talk to Stephan about looking into some medication. I know he said there were some options for dealing with your anxiety if it worsened.” 

 

Stephan had been their therapist even before the accident. Yuuri’s anxiety had ramped up to an eleven when he first moved to Russia, and Victor did not know what to do. With his inexperience seemingly making his then fiancee’s mental health worse, he turned to the mental health service Yakov had often recommended to his students. It had been a godsend. Stephan had not only prescribed something to ease his anxiety, he had aided them through Yuuri’s pregnancy, and he helped them process the accident.

 

“I’m definitely open to discussing it with him. I--I’m just scared.”

 

“I am too, Angel, but we’ll do make it through, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to help you.”

 

“Vitya, I--I need to tell you something.”

 

“What is it? I’ll meet you there, I promise.” He took his husband’s hand gently.

 

“I-I--I’ve felt off the last few days, and--and I took one of the pregnancy tests we always keep just in case, and I--I’m pregnant.” 

 

Yuuri looked anywhere but Victor’s face. Victor could almost see his nerves bubble over in his stomach and expand into his lungs; Yuuri looked breathless. The alpha felt his voice shrivel in his throat. This had to be what was bothering his husband the last two weeks. Had he put undue pressure on Yuuri? They had avoided the topic of children like the plague since the accident, and he may have mistaken the apprehensive silence to be silent descent with having another child. Which would not be true. Victor loved children; he just did not know how to broach the topic without accidentally dragging up horrible memories.

 

Yet, Victor’s heart swelled in his chest at the thought of another child. He would love Aiko until he died, but his heart was still had plenty of love to give to any other children the couple might have. His biggest concern was still Yuuri’s wellbeing though. If he was not ready, they would wait. Simple as that. He just could not suppress the small spark of hope that they would keep the bundle of joy on the way.

 

“Is that what’s been bothering you the last little bit?” He finally found his voice again.

 

“Yea.”

 

“I haven’t put pressure on you have I?”

 

“Of course not.”

 

“Ok, I want to be completely honest with you. I would love to raise this baby with you, but if it’s too soon after what happened, I want you to know I understand and support you. Nothing in this world is more important to me than you, and above all else, I want to do what’s best for you. Just tell me what you need, and we’ll do it.”

 

“You’re ok with having another pup so soon?—With me?”

 

“Of course, Yuuri; there’s only ever been you for me. And, I’d love nothing more than to raise this baby with you. I just don’t want to pressure you.”

 

“I-I know we both loved Aiko more than anything, a-and I don’t want you to feel like we’re replacing him.”

 

“He will always be here in our hearts, and I know you’d never want to replace our little boy.”

 

“I loved him so much. I--I did my best to keep him safe. I--I promise.”

 

“I know, Angel, I know. You’ve been a wonderful parent for as long as I’ve known you.”

 

“I was so afraid you’d think I was trying to replace him or you wouldn’t want the baby or you’d get mad or you’d hate me. It’s all I’ve been able to think about.”

 

He cupped both sides of Yuuri’s face with his hands, carefully wiping tears away. “Well, now that we know none of those are true, are you a little more excited?”

 

“Yea,” Yuuri could not help but smile. “Are you?”

 

In response, Victor picked him up and did a spin. After he sat his feet back on the ground, kisses were exchanged. He gave his husband the most “in love” look he had. Yuuri gave him a dopey love-drunk expression in return.

 

“You keep finding ways to make me the happiest person alive. I love you so much Yuuri Katsuki; I love you more than anything.”

 

“It’s technically Katsuki-Nikiforov now,” He giggled. “And, I love you too, Vitya, so, so much.”

 

Yuri found them standing in that same position about five minutes later when he finally came out dressed with his bag slung over his shoulder.

 

“Hey, Old Man, Katsudon, we gonna go or what?”

 

“Yea, just let us get our jackets on.” Yuuri did not even bother to look away.

 

They both threw their jackets on, and Yuri lead the way to their condo. The couple held hands behind him. His Yuuri was almost floating on the short journey. The last two weeks seemed to melt off of his shoulders, and he was letting himself relax. He giggled and laughed at any jokes, skipped with Victor, and joined Yuri in his teasing. It was a side of his husband Victor had missed dearly. 

 

Logically, he knew this was not a permanent state. There were serious, painful, and unavoidable conversations in the future, and he would have to push Yuuri to mention his resurfacing crippling anxiety. This was still a major step forward. They were continuing to walk together through the dark, but the lantern kept getting brighter. He felt like everything would work out alright. He did not even feel like it was a lie this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the new chapter. May or may not have another update for you guys this week. Let's just see how the holiday goes!!!
> 
> Comments, kudos, and suggestions are always welcome!!!
> 
> Have an amazing day/night/whatever you're currently experiencing!!! :- )


	5. A Date With Vitya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly more of a filler chapter. I apologize for how late I am!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! Real talk though, I'm so sorry this is so late; the whole world has decided to mess with me!! Hopefully, I can get back on schedule!!! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!!

Dinner was wonderful. Yura and Victor even seemed to get along well at dinner. They had all settled on the couch. Yuuri snuggled into Victor, and Yuri’s head laid in his dam’s lap. Yuri had fallen asleep from Yuuri’s fingers messing in his hair. The couple were whispering.

 

“He looks so relaxed,” Victor kissed his husband’s cheek.

 

“Yea, he must have been exhausted,” he sighed. “He’s probably been working himself to the bone.”

 

“We’ll keep our eyes on him from now on. He’ll be okay; I promise, Angel.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Victor nuzzled his neck gently, and Yuuri barred his neck for him. He felt light kisses going up and down his neck. The entire evening had given him a lot of peace. He had no idea what had pushed him to tell his husband about the baby, but he was glad he did. Victor’s reaction helped him calm down a lot. Logically, he knew his husband would never do anything to hurt him like that, but his mind could get out of control when he bottled up all his emotions. He was ecstatic he had gotten off his chest.

 

“You know, I have a rest day tomorrow...How about we go out on the town? It’s been a while since we had a proper date.” Victor pulled away so that he could look up.

 

Yuuri let out a content sigh. “I’d like that. How long has it been since you had a shopping day?”

 

“Too long. I do need to update my winter wardrobe.”

 

They chatted quietly until they both fell asleep on the couch.

 

 

The next morning was fairly brisk. Yuuri woke up with a crick in his neck, a kid in his lap, and a snoring alpha on his shoulder. He looked over to the clock; he almost jumped when he realized the time. If he did not get them going, Yuri was going to be late.

 

“Yura, you’ve got to get up, Sweetie. You’re going to be late.” He gently shook Yuri’s shoulder.

 

Yuri groaned and snuggled closer into Yuuri’s thigh. He sighed. It was cute, but he knew he would have hell to pay if he did not get the boy to practice.

 

“Yura, Love, it’s time to wake up. We don’t want you to be late.” He shook his shoulder again.

 

Yuri groaned, but he got up that time. He sat up on the couch, stretched, and asked which to use the bathroom. Soon, Yuuri was left alone with his sleeping husband. He started placing light kisses across his face, and Victor’s eyes fluttered open. He kissed Yuuri’s lips.

 

“Good morning, Angel.”

 

“Good morning, Vitya. I hope your neck isn’t too sore.”

 

“It was worth it. How are you?”

 

“I’m good, but I need to get up and make breakfast so Yura will have something to eat.”

 

“I’ll help, Angel; what do you think we should make?”

 

“Probably just something and eggs, because I’m not going to have time to make much else.”

 

“Okey-dokey, I’ll go see what the something is going to be.” 

 

They ran around the kitchen getting breakfast together. It ended up only being a whole grain muffin and an egg, but, at least, it was something. Yuri came out of the bathroom dressed and hungry. He ate quickly and headed out. He hugged Yuuri with surprising strength before he left. Yuuri promised him they would get together another day very soon. He stayed until he absolutely have to go, and the couple were left alone.

 

“So, what’s on our schedule for today? I could deal with some shopping, but we can always do something else.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s bond mark. 

 

“I wouldn’t mind going shopping with you. You’re so cute when you get excited about clothes.”

 

“Am I not cute all the time?”

 

“You are, Vitya; you are. It’s just extra cute when you seen something you ‘need’ in a window.”

 

“Well, at least you think it’s cute. You’re too good for me; you know that?”

 

“I doubt it, but I’ll take your word for it.”

 

Victor managed to turn him around where they could be face to face and kissed him. He ran his hands down Yuuri’s back. It was nice. Yuuri had missed this; he had not been this close to Victor in weeks. He could not hold back a whimper when Victor nipped up and down his neck. He settled on his scent gland. He was quickly becoming aroused.

 

“Vitya, I don’t think I can take you right now,” They had not done anything in a couple weeks.

 

“It’s ok, Angel, just let me made you feel good, ok?”

 

Yuuri nodded.

 

 

After their little romp this morning, the couple finally left the house for Victor’s favorite shopping center. They looked around for a while, Victor more so than Yuuri. It was fun though. The mall was pretty empty, but it probably was not the most popular shopping season. Regardless, it was really nice to have the mall mostly to themselves. They shared a drink and some soft pretzels, and Victor even found dress shoes he liked for an event. Yuuri just enjoyed having a comfortable day out with his husband.

 

Before he knew it, Yuuri was being pulled into a store.

 

“Yuuri, look! That would look amazing on you! You have to try it on!” With Victor’s tone of voice, he knew there was no getting out of it.

 

He was shoved into a dressing room, which was then filled with clothing he apparently “needed.” He actually did have some fun with the impromptu fashion show. He noticed there were plenty of oversized hoodies and sweaters in the new wardrobe his husband apparently wanted to buy; Yuuri thought it was sweet he was thinking about the next nine months. No matter what Victor said, he doubted his fears would ever really dissipate. His husband definitely had a ball. They left with Victor’s wallet looking considerably lighter. 

 

“You shouldn’t have spent all that money on me! I won’t even fit into them in a few months.” Yuuri’s half-hearted complaints were ignored.

 

“I’ll spend my money spoiling my husband if I want to. It’ll be good practice for when the baby gets here, da?” He gave a heart-shaped grin. 

 

Yuuri gave up. He was not winning this argument. Victor pulled him to look at a picture frame display.

 

Their next stop was a children’s store. Yuuri was apprehensive, but Victor’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. And, he was loathe to do anything to make Victor unhappy. They looked around for awhile. It was definitely too early for them to buy any new baby items; they did not even know what gender the baby would be.There was no harm in looking around though. It was a rather quaint little store to find in a mall. It was clean and well-kept, but it was still very homely. They stayed in there awhile just browsing nursery items. In the stuffed animal section, Yuuri found the cutest stuffed rabbit; it was a sparkly lavender with a dark purple bow around its neck. 

 

“Vitya, can we get this? I think the baby would like this.” Yuuri held the bunny in hands.

 

He ran his thumb on one of the bunnies ear. He was not sure why, but he felt like the rabbit was important. It may have been his nesting instincts ramping up. 

 

“Of course, Angel. I’m sure they’ll love it.” Victor always knew what to say.

 

The woman at the checkout was kind as they payed. She wished them well, and they decided to walk back to one of the drink machines they passed earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope it was ok!! 
> 
> Comments, Kudos, and Suggestions are always welcome!!!
> 
> Have a wonderful day!!!

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter will be up soon hopefully, I'm itching to write Victor's perspective!! 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed and suggestions for improvement are always welcome!!


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